The Mullet Chronicles: Hyner, Hot Pants, and Hell-a-va Time

"Crossovers are a pain in the a–. Everybody hates doing them, but they’re like ratings crack, and it's a bad addiction because you don't want to overuse it." — Dick Wolf (Producer of Law & Order and Chicago franchises), regarding TV crossover episodes.

I haven’t even cracked a dozen posts on this blog and somehow… we’re already doing a crossover episode. Things are moving fast. Too fast. Like blasting down Huff Run with supreme confidence… only to cramp like your legs have been set in concrete. Welcome to this installment of The Mullet Chronicles—a side-track, a tangent, a late-night campfire story that probably should’ve stayed buried somewhere along the original 50K course.

This time around, Grayce “Hot Pants” Langheine takes the mic and narrates one of my old race reports from the 2017 Hyner Trail Challenge 50K. Yes, that Hyner. The original recipe when the course when down into the depths of Ritchie Run with all the greatest hits: leg-crushing climbs, descents that turn your quads into overcooked brisket, and with just enough chaos and still never questioning your decisions.

Me, at Cliffhanger, early in the Hyner 50K, 2017.

We start at the bottom. Literally. From there:

• before the start I had "to get my shit together"

• sending The Virgins to kneel before the might Humble Hill

• “losing one’s Manwich"

• and at least one friend displaying an insatiable appetite for… a taste of the Orient

And yet, like all proper Pennsylvania trail stories, it ends the same way: dusty, wrecked, thirsty, slightly delirious, and already convincing yourself it “wasn’t that bad.”

You can listen to the episode here or click the link below to jump onto your favorite platform (highly recommended if you enjoy hearing poor decisions read aloud with dramatic flair): https://rss.com/podcasts/idiotrunner/2663223/

Or read the original race report from my old blog: https://benrunsonbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/hyner-challenge-50k/

Wait… What Even Is The Mullet Chronicles?

The Mullet Chronicles is a side-track of The Running Mullet—because one outlet for questionable storytelling clearly wasn’t enough. It’s where the stories live featuring the who's who and what's what in Pennsylvania trailrunning. The weird ones. The painful ones. The ones where details get fuzzy—either from time, trauma, or dehydration.

You can catch The Running Mullet live every Monday at 7:30 PM Eastern. Expect stories from every corner of the trail running spectrum—from the business in the front of the pack to whatever is happening in the back (which is usually far more interesting).

Featuring:

• Erik “Idiotrunner and It’s So Past My Bedtime” Kosek

• Grayce “Hot Pants” Langheine

Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/@therunningmullet